ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
