Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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