Christians are straight up FREAKS
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize
