now i know why i became what i already was.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
my liver is dry heaving
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
