there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
