I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
