Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
