why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
