yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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