you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
