Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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