I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
