spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
