Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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