I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
