do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
