ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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