I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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