just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Randomize
