The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
