69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
