there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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