Where did you get a picture of my penis
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
