sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize