Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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