i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
