My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
honey bunches of taint.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
