I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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