And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
where am i from again
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
