She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
