Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
