She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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