Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
