nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize