It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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