Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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