im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
P.S. I can't hear my feet
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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