How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
