she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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