By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
