you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
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