He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
