I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
