If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i came on her dog
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
