Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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