can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
