roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
