a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
My breasts were aching with rage.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
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