I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
