Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
