i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
