Dual....:-)
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
