The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
