I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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