i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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