I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Still dying that you shit outside
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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