too bad you live with your parents still
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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