hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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