We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
