What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Someone shit on the floor
Sober January is a disaster.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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