He is such a slut. More and more my type.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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