Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
