how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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