I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
